Meekness

Several years ago at a homeschooling conference, a family friend presented definitions of the capital sins and cardinal and theological virtues that he had his children memorize as part of their coursework. I remember being impressed that his 10 year old could recite these definitions so well and decided that this would become part of my one day a week homeschooling time. Over time one definition has stood out as essential for healthy family life, that of meekness:

Meekness is a supernatural moral virtue by which we prevent and restrain anger, bear with one's neighbor in spite of his defects, and treat him with kindliness.

I point out to the children that heroic actions such as saving lives may be dramatic, but it is the way in which we treat each other that builds virtue on a daily basis. What I like about this definition is that it goes beyond just biting your tongue and demands a positive approach to loving others. Note that we aim to prevent anger. As St Francis de Sales says, we should, in our morning prayer, try to anticipate the temptations to sin that will present themselves. If we know that a sibling, child, or parent is likely to annoy us, we can prepare ourselves to respond in a loving way. In stead of fanning the flames of annoyance, we can douse them with an understanding comment, or at the least, self restraint.

Also, we do not deny that others have defects, but we do challenge ourselves to look beyond them to the good of the person. So often I need to reminded of this simple truth. If Christ could hold His arms open to us on the cross in spite of our defects, we should be able to draw on the graces that He pours out to do the same for those around us. Christ showed us that this wasn't easy (an understatement--it cost Him his life) but this demand He makes of us seems pretty reasonable compared to His sacrifice!